Serious and Grim News: Brett
Jul. 26th, 2011 12:44 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dweniusMy very dear friend Brett Summers is currently in Columbia University Hospital in Missouri, and his condition is extremely grave. He has been struggling with alcoholism for some time and developed Hepatitis over the past year. Several stints of rehab were only marginally successful and about a month ago he fell into a coma in his house. He has been in the hospital since then with acute liver and kidney failure. His family and doctors are unsure whether he will live a week, or a month,
or —
I'm flying out tomorrow and hope that he will be out from sedation long enough to know that I am there. If not, I'll play him the Orb, and read to him from Italo Calvino, and leave him the get well cards that Calvin and Rose made, and otherwise keep him company through midday Thursday.
Please send your love and good thoughts for him. Anything you post here, I will do my best to relay. I'll either read it aloud to him or print your words and leave them by his bedside, or both.
or —
I'm flying out tomorrow and hope that he will be out from sedation long enough to know that I am there. If not, I'll play him the Orb, and read to him from Italo Calvino, and leave him the get well cards that Calvin and Rose made, and otherwise keep him company through midday Thursday.
Please send your love and good thoughts for him. Anything you post here, I will do my best to relay. I'll either read it aloud to him or print your words and leave them by his bedside, or both.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-07-26 05:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-26 05:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-26 05:25 am (UTC)Please do; he needs to know how much he's loved.
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Date: 2011-07-27 04:44 am (UTC)you will always be just 'b' to me. i have no idea why. i remember, first, being naked in front of you and you telling me, in detail, in the most non-sexual way, in the middle of a crowded field of people just how this curve of mine was fantastic and that one was amazing...writing it seems so strange now, how did i let a stranger do that? but it wasn't 'let,' it was 'need' - somehow, at 29 I'd never really been truly naked in front of someone ever i don't think, maybe not even myself....perhaps for fear of critique. I had no idea that hearing someone tell all the ways my body was beautiful was even an option. And then you skipped away with bunny ears and mallet, having smoothed out the troubled bits of my psyche a bit. I had forgotten until today that it had even happened, let alone how powerful it was.
And then, probably just a day or two later I said to you, "It can be this way always." And I knew you were one of my kind or, rather, that I was one of yours.
It has been a long journey since that moment - keeping it in that moment, striving for authenticity in the face of so much....it isn't easy, but it is worth it. No matter how we alter our perception or surroundings, we always come back to the same head space we've known since as far back as we can remember - it is significant. We are meant to be where we are, not to escape from it.
I want for you peace, where you're at. I know you will find it, at this bend in the road or the next. Everything is okay.
I would not be the person I am today had we not met and been friends. Thank you. I love you. You're a squirly, squirmy, swirly elf of a man and I adore you. I saw your tenderness and generosity, always. Your journey has mattered and will continue to. You make soft, elegant, beautiful ripples that float still unto an endless shore. I hope you find the soft, tender places within you and feel their power, and love them, and let them love you.
Your softness has power and I am so honored that I could share it with you for a minute. I love you, friend.
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Date: 2011-07-26 05:35 am (UTC)I can't afford to fly there, but I wonder if I could do speaker phone while you're there. Can you e-mail me a current phone number? double00range at gmail dot com
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Date: 2011-07-27 02:22 am (UTC)thank you
Date: 2011-07-26 06:10 am (UTC)whisper in his ear about patterns in the universe that our brains decode and that I am here waiting to have those conversations again and how we can unlock our own brains coming the other way around...
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Date: 2011-07-26 06:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-26 06:50 am (UTC)Thanks for going out and doing the right thing.
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Date: 2011-07-26 11:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-26 12:32 pm (UTC)Brett: There's so much art, so much music, so much joie de vivre in you. So much curiosity, so much compassion, so much try-it-and-find-out. I want to hear more of that music, to see more of that art. I've been waiting for you to become grounded and stable so I could demand, kindly, that you share more of your pictures, more music. I want to hear more jams of you working with others, creating a concert that varies as the moods come and go. I want to learn about your life coming together. I want you to know that I've been following along with your adventures for years and always felt kindred, as if you were my rather wilder brother, doing things and taking chances I didn't quite dare. There's so much you have to share and I deeply, truly, selfishly hope you will share some more again. But more than anything, I hope you can find the health and inner peace you need to be whole again. I love you, get better.
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Date: 2011-07-26 01:21 pm (UTC)Do what you have to do, especially when it hurts. Love fiercely.
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Date: 2011-07-26 01:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-26 01:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-26 02:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-26 02:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-26 02:51 pm (UTC)Please get better
Date: 2011-07-26 04:07 pm (UTC)Please don't leave us. We want to see your smiling face and bunny ears. When you get better, please come back to Austin.
Love,
Melody Byrd
Dammit
Date: 2011-07-26 06:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-26 06:47 pm (UTC)You have been an inspiration in my life. I have rarely seen an individual with more motivation and intelligence. It was awesome to watch you be so enthusiastic about so many projects that were beyond the reach of so many others. You stand as one of the best read people I've ever met, and I wish that we could have spent more time together exploring, and making music and other art together. I loved dancing with you and being around you when we let go of the shackles of inhibitions. Profound connection is one of the most difficult and rewarding of all human endeavors, and I am thankful that we found that in our pasts together, because you made it so rewarding for me. I hope that your spirit can pull through this failing of the flesh, and reach a better place, wherever that may be. I hope that place is with us for a bit longer.
With Love,
Anderson
no subject
Date: 2011-07-26 07:18 pm (UTC)Please get well soon. Pull through.
Much love,
Francine
Brett is cool/we love Brett because....
Date: 2011-07-26 09:42 pm (UTC)I am sorry that I have not known how to be with you. I think of you often. Especially an idea you introduced me: changing your life course is like steering a freight train. I take this to mean change is a momentous task, only done very gradually.
We both have been trying to steer our freight trains. I hope we can both forgive ourselves for not being able to make impossible hard turns.
I love and accept you for who you are now.
I love you,
Sarah Miller
P.S. Here is the documentation of your friends' love for you circa 2001.
Your friends said this:
Brett is cool/we love Brett because....
He will not settle when it comes to selecting dessert.
He can sport pink bunny ears and rainbow-colored wigs like nobody's business.
He never judges me; he's just my friend.
His dental hygiene is impeccable and he's always up for a tooth-brushing run.
He is irresistible when he grins from ear to ear.
His rabbit hat with ear cocked to the side makes me giggle like a maniac.
He always says things to make you feel better...even when he's trying to be evil.
He likes good, good food.
His laugh is infectious.
He spins GREAT tunes.
He shares. Your pancakes, his, whatever!
He often looks like he could be normal, but underneath it all he's wonderfully freaky.
He's got a one-of-a-kind sense of humor and a mind to match.
He's an able co-conspirator!
He challenges and broadens my view of the world.
He has impeccable and unique taste.
He has the best carpet on which to roll.
His pants are the bomb.
He has hidden funkiness. (Aw yeah...check me out!!)
I know he is looking out for me.
He brings wonderful people together.
He's creative.
He almost never steals from little old ladies.
He's supercalifragilisticexpialadocious.
He makes a mean coffee.
In a police line up, you probably wouldn't say he did it.
He has taught me that being student doesn't involve being in school.
He's very silly.
He's very smart and very weird.
He's particular about his friends and he picked me!
He is very good at giving compliments.
He eats well.
He's always considerate.
He's wonderfully silly.
He makes music because it makes him happy.
His home is a sanctuary.
He has lots of knowledge and ideas.
He thinks well.
Rocks are fun to climb.
He encourages and strengthens me.
He smells like Brett.
He communicates well.
Bread, bananas, and coffee really are the staples of life.
His head is fun to rub.
Jack, Sarah, Corinna, 2 N Jenn, Karen, and Chim Chim
Dear friend,
Date: 2011-07-26 09:54 pm (UTC)Dear friend,
Date: 2011-07-26 09:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-27 12:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-27 12:45 am (UTC)I remember all those nights after movies: talking, talking, talking. Time felt slow, then. I remember knowing that if I put my head on your shoulder, it would be welcomed. You were ease to me, you were connection. I never had to worry if you were my friend or if you cared about me. I remember when you called me in Kuwait, at the darkest part of my time there and told me that I had to come home, right away. There are days I wish I had.
I regret not staying to play Go with you that night. I regret that you have never met my little boy, the reason I stayed in Kuwait all those years ago. I regret not reaching out to you as you reached out to me. So many regrets. I hope you can find your way through this one, my dearest funny Brett, and find your way back again to us...to me, to this world.
I want so much for you. Most of all, I want you to make whatever peace you can find in this, whatever that might be. I understand if you choose not to be, to leave us - I will cry, but I understand - but I hope you choose the here and now. It's worth it, as hard as it is sometimes. It's worth it.
Love,
Courtney
no subject
Date: 2011-07-27 03:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-27 04:56 pm (UTC)Brett,
The Colorado contingent is sending you love and strength. You are such an interesting man and we would all be at a great loss without you in the world. I have many fond Flipside memories of you and especially of the last time we saw you here in Denver. You mesmerized us all for hours with your creative creations! We all really hope that you can pull through this dark time and awaken to brighter days.
D & J & L are on their way out to be with you, just hang on!
Love to you and your family,
Rachel and Michael
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Date: 2011-07-28 04:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-28 08:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-29 11:39 am (UTC)