I remember all those nights after movies: talking, talking, talking. Time felt slow, then. I remember knowing that if I put my head on your shoulder, it would be welcomed. You were ease to me, you were connection. I never had to worry if you were my friend or if you cared about me. I remember when you called me in Kuwait, at the darkest part of my time there and told me that I had to come home, right away. There are days I wish I had.
I regret not staying to play Go with you that night. I regret that you have never met my little boy, the reason I stayed in Kuwait all those years ago. I regret not reaching out to you as you reached out to me. So many regrets. I hope you can find your way through this one, my dearest funny Brett, and find your way back again to us...to me, to this world.
I want so much for you. Most of all, I want you to make whatever peace you can find in this, whatever that might be. I understand if you choose not to be, to leave us - I will cry, but I understand - but I hope you choose the here and now. It's worth it, as hard as it is sometimes. It's worth it.
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Date: 2011-07-27 12:45 am (UTC)I remember all those nights after movies: talking, talking, talking. Time felt slow, then. I remember knowing that if I put my head on your shoulder, it would be welcomed. You were ease to me, you were connection. I never had to worry if you were my friend or if you cared about me. I remember when you called me in Kuwait, at the darkest part of my time there and told me that I had to come home, right away. There are days I wish I had.
I regret not staying to play Go with you that night. I regret that you have never met my little boy, the reason I stayed in Kuwait all those years ago. I regret not reaching out to you as you reached out to me. So many regrets. I hope you can find your way through this one, my dearest funny Brett, and find your way back again to us...to me, to this world.
I want so much for you. Most of all, I want you to make whatever peace you can find in this, whatever that might be. I understand if you choose not to be, to leave us - I will cry, but I understand - but I hope you choose the here and now. It's worth it, as hard as it is sometimes. It's worth it.
Love,
Courtney