dwenius: (Default)
dwenius ([personal profile] dwenius) wrote2006-04-25 12:32 am

Let your life be your statement



I met Marie at a Jambay show, in Eugene Oregon, sometime in 1995. Might have been the May shows at the WOW Hall (the best name for a band venue, ever), but, honestly, it could have been ANY Jambay show, because as near as I can tell, she went to all of them. I was there with T. and S., and they both mentioned that they ran into Marie at a lot of shows, even though she apparently lived in Seattle.

This would become a trend. We went to the High Sierra music festival the next year, and ran into Marie at the ticket booth, before we even set up camp. I traveled up to the Oregon Country Fair, and sure enough, ran into Marie. Not anywhere on the winding paths or booths, but smack-dab in front of the main stage. I'd see her in Oregon. In San Francisco. In Santa Cruz. At an almost random wedding party in the woods in Los Altos (well, that one doesn't count....Jambay was playing, so of course...). She probably covered more miles on I-5 in her little red Civic than your average trucker.

It's not just that she always seemed to be wherever good music was happening, it was that literally, EVERY concert I went to for the last 10 years, whether it was a tiny, too-cramped to even dance properly bar like 12 Galaxies, or the enormous hamstring-destroying slope at Shoreline, I would run into Marie. We would laugh, hug, get caught up on current life events, and shake it until the last encore. She camped with us on P. and H.'s property in Sequim, WA; she showed up at Burning Man. Marie was always driving or flying off somewhere, coming back with stories about hiking through the Indian sub-continent looking for increasingly bigger Buddhas, or wandering around beaches forests in Panama or Costa Rica for the hell of it, or exploring ruins in Peru and Bolivia, harrowing bus rides and mild dysentery included. Replete with wholly infectious laughter, an omnipresent 2-liter bottle of diet Coke (it was this thing with her), and long, glowing red hair framing a deep, enveloping smile. She'd tell tales about weird wildlife, and happy bartering with the locals, taking a hammock-making class...it was all just shy of random, but she'd weave it together into a series of "and then I decided to take a boat to this volcano in the middle of the lake Nicaragua!" moments, and it sort of made sense. Constant adventure, backpacking concert-goer variety. Also, howler monkeys, but I digress. A. has a funny story or two as well, but I will let her tell them, if she chooses.

I've been careful with verb tenses so far, or tried to be, but you know where this is going, right? So let's all face it together: Marie was at a concert in Santa Cruz this past weekend, went outside to get a little air, and collapsed. She had a major heart attack, was rushed to ICU, but never regained consciousness. After 2 days with no signs of improvement, her parents decided to unplug the life support systems at noon today, and donate her organs.

She was 41 years old.

I'm having a really hard time with this one. I just can't imagine that the next time I go out to see music, there will be no Marie. Or at least, no physical, tangible Marie to connect with, laugh with, dance with, love. I still have her life and her memory, and what a slap-your-face lesson it is. She worked when she had to, lived where she could afford, but these were always the temporary situations in between the phases of her ongoing search, never defined, barely directed, but always pursued with such pure, inquisitive joy.

Whatever it is, I hope you found it, sweetie. We're gonna miss you terribly.

Much love,
Paul

[identity profile] ottobeatriscuit.livejournal.com 2006-04-25 08:55 am (UTC)(link)
Oh! You've got my hugs and sympathy.

[identity profile] kmhoofnagle.livejournal.com 2006-04-25 12:29 pm (UTC)(link)
*hug*

[identity profile] eac.livejournal.com 2006-04-25 01:37 pm (UTC)(link)
So sorry. *hug*

[identity profile] rimrunner.livejournal.com 2006-04-25 04:05 pm (UTC)(link)
My condolences.

[identity profile] gen9.livejournal.com 2006-04-25 05:05 pm (UTC)(link)
She sounds like she was an extraordinary person, a once in a lifetime free and genuine spirit.

My deepest sympathy to you and Annie, I'm so sorry for your loss.

[identity profile] 2wanda.livejournal.com 2006-04-25 05:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you for giving us a glimpse into the life of this very dear friend of yours. I can see why she will be painfully missed. Many hugs for you and Annie.

[identity profile] twirlgrrl.livejournal.com 2006-04-25 08:06 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks Paul, this is beautiful. I am too messed up about this to write my own coherent tribute at the moment, but I couldn't possibly do better. Thanks. You should share this with the list.

[identity profile] omarius.livejournal.com 2006-04-25 09:04 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't think I'm much inclined to wish for much more than that maybe some would remember me as fondly when I'm gone. What a nice testament to your friend. My condolences.