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Attention, parents and future parents
Feb. 16th, 2004 01:21 pmLet us assume that you are arranging a birthday party for your 7 year old. You decide that a small gathering-- very small, as you are still recovering from the mental, physical, and emotional onslaught of a 5th birthday party involving 22 children-- at a local miniature golf course. You might assume that having 4 adults watching over 5 children and one infant would be a perfectly sane ratio, guaranteeing an afternoon free from chaos.
You would be mistaken. Grossly.
The infant takes one parent out of the picture. Now it's 3 against five, no problem, right? Well, one of the 5 is a younger sister, who decides to stop playing partway through the course and just, you know, run around. Second parent out of the loop, now it's 2 against 4. Third parent seems more concerned with making sure his daughters don't "hack at the ball", like it was "baseball, or field hockey, or something." Ok, third parent is a teacher by profession and prone to giving instructions without being asked, but still, it lessened his effectiveness, especially with his own children. All four parents are carrying putters, thanks to some insane delusion that they would be able to play along. Well, kinda, but playing along means that for at least 30 seconds on every hold, nobody is watching the children. Work it all out, and really, it's between 0-1.5 parents against approximately 3.5 children. 3.5 hyper, ice cream-fueled children, armed with clubs and projectile weapons. Multiple shins and knuckles were bruised in the ensuing carnage, but there were no casualties. I'd even call it fun, but only because my effortlessly sane wife kept me from getting uptight about any of it.
Still, words for the wise.
You would be mistaken. Grossly.
The infant takes one parent out of the picture. Now it's 3 against five, no problem, right? Well, one of the 5 is a younger sister, who decides to stop playing partway through the course and just, you know, run around. Second parent out of the loop, now it's 2 against 4. Third parent seems more concerned with making sure his daughters don't "hack at the ball", like it was "baseball, or field hockey, or something." Ok, third parent is a teacher by profession and prone to giving instructions without being asked, but still, it lessened his effectiveness, especially with his own children. All four parents are carrying putters, thanks to some insane delusion that they would be able to play along. Well, kinda, but playing along means that for at least 30 seconds on every hold, nobody is watching the children. Work it all out, and really, it's between 0-1.5 parents against approximately 3.5 children. 3.5 hyper, ice cream-fueled children, armed with clubs and projectile weapons. Multiple shins and knuckles were bruised in the ensuing carnage, but there were no casualties. I'd even call it fun, but only because my effortlessly sane wife kept me from getting uptight about any of it.
Still, words for the wise.
