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[personal profile] dwenius
My very dear friend Brett Summers is currently in Columbia University Hospital in Missouri, and his condition is extremely grave. He has been struggling with alcoholism for some time and developed Hepatitis over the past year. Several stints of rehab were only marginally successful and about a month ago he fell into a coma in his house. He has been in the hospital since then with acute liver and kidney failure. His family and doctors are unsure whether he will live a week, or a month,
or —

I'm flying out tomorrow and hope that he will be out from sedation long enough to know that I am there. If not, I'll play him the Orb, and read to him from Italo Calvino, and leave him the get well cards that Calvin and Rose made, and otherwise keep him company through midday Thursday.

Please send your love and good thoughts for him. Anything you post here, I will do my best to relay. I'll either read it aloud to him or print your words and leave them by his bedside, or both.

Date: 2011-07-26 05:07 am (UTC)
ext_8707: Taken in front of Carnegie Hall (dust)
From: [identity profile] ronebofh.livejournal.com
Fucking hell.

Date: 2011-07-26 05:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ms-marrilee.livejournal.com
yeah, words fail me. though 'fucking hell' feels pretty good. stunned. i will think and dream on something better to say to him.....

Date: 2011-07-26 05:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] canetoad.livejournal.com
i will think and dream on something better to say to him.....

Please do; he needs to know how much he's loved.
Edited Date: 2011-07-26 05:27 am (UTC)

Date: 2011-07-27 04:44 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
b,

you will always be just 'b' to me. i have no idea why. i remember, first, being naked in front of you and you telling me, in detail, in the most non-sexual way, in the middle of a crowded field of people just how this curve of mine was fantastic and that one was amazing...writing it seems so strange now, how did i let a stranger do that? but it wasn't 'let,' it was 'need' - somehow, at 29 I'd never really been truly naked in front of someone ever i don't think, maybe not even myself....perhaps for fear of critique. I had no idea that hearing someone tell all the ways my body was beautiful was even an option. And then you skipped away with bunny ears and mallet, having smoothed out the troubled bits of my psyche a bit. I had forgotten until today that it had even happened, let alone how powerful it was.

And then, probably just a day or two later I said to you, "It can be this way always." And I knew you were one of my kind or, rather, that I was one of yours.

It has been a long journey since that moment - keeping it in that moment, striving for authenticity in the face of so much....it isn't easy, but it is worth it. No matter how we alter our perception or surroundings, we always come back to the same head space we've known since as far back as we can remember - it is significant. We are meant to be where we are, not to escape from it.

I want for you peace, where you're at. I know you will find it, at this bend in the road or the next. Everything is okay.

I would not be the person I am today had we not met and been friends. Thank you. I love you. You're a squirly, squirmy, swirly elf of a man and I adore you. I saw your tenderness and generosity, always. Your journey has mattered and will continue to. You make soft, elegant, beautiful ripples that float still unto an endless shore. I hope you find the soft, tender places within you and feel their power, and love them, and let them love you.

Your softness has power and I am so honored that I could share it with you for a minute. I love you, friend.

Date: 2011-07-26 05:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] double00range.livejournal.com
Thank you so much for going. I am deeply saddened by this. I can't help but feel guilty for not doing enough. Fucking hell indeed.

I can't afford to fly there, but I wonder if I could do speaker phone while you're there. Can you e-mail me a current phone number? double00range at gmail dot com

Date: 2011-07-27 02:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dwenius.livejournal.com
Gwen, don't dive down the hindsight rabbit hole. I am struggling with it too. That way lies madness. We will get your call into his ear tomorrow one way or the other. I sent you email to try to coordinate.

thank you

Date: 2011-07-26 06:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] silona.livejournal.com
my thoughts go with you...

whisper in his ear about patterns in the universe that our brains decode and that I am here waiting to have those conversations again and how we can unlock our own brains coming the other way around...

Date: 2011-07-26 06:50 am (UTC)
ext_181967: (Default)
From: [identity profile] waider.livejournal.com
Well crap. Please carry good wishes from all of us who can't be there.

Date: 2011-07-26 06:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] drjohn.livejournal.com
This is a very sad turn of events.

Thanks for going out and doing the right thing.

Date: 2011-07-26 11:08 am (UTC)
damienw: (photobyadam)
From: [personal profile] damienw
Please tell brett that I love him. My world is a better world that can have such a person.

Date: 2011-07-26 12:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] catbear.livejournal.com
Damn!

Brett: There's so much art, so much music, so much joie de vivre in you. So much curiosity, so much compassion, so much try-it-and-find-out. I want to hear more of that music, to see more of that art. I've been waiting for you to become grounded and stable so I could demand, kindly, that you share more of your pictures, more music. I want to hear more jams of you working with others, creating a concert that varies as the moods come and go. I want to learn about your life coming together. I want you to know that I've been following along with your adventures for years and always felt kindred, as if you were my rather wilder brother, doing things and taking chances I didn't quite dare. There's so much you have to share and I deeply, truly, selfishly hope you will share some more again. But more than anything, I hope you can find the health and inner peace you need to be whole again. I love you, get better.

Date: 2011-07-26 01:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dawn-guy.livejournal.com
I've been pretty quiet for a while, fighting demons and keeping the promise the teenage me made to the wizened old me what feels like a couple of lifetimes ago. Not dying is hard sometimes and I don't take paths that make it much easier.

Do what you have to do, especially when it hurts. Love fiercely.

Date: 2011-07-26 01:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] boutell.livejournal.com
Ugh. Very sorry to hear it.

Date: 2011-07-26 01:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] peglegpete.livejournal.com
This is very disheartening. Words fail me. He is in my heart and thoughts -- please convey my best wishes.

Date: 2011-07-26 02:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cuddlyeconomist.livejournal.com
I wish I could take care of you the way you took care of me the first day I met you. Your struggles were always quiet, but you helped to bring me a joy that cannot be measured. There are places to go and people to meet, and I hope that you can do both. Peace and love, Margo

Date: 2011-07-26 02:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rednikki.livejournal.com
I am so sorry and I'm thinking of you.

Date: 2011-07-26 02:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] crisper.livejournal.com
ah jeez...

Please get better

Date: 2011-07-26 04:07 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Brett,

Please don't leave us. We want to see your smiling face and bunny ears. When you get better, please come back to Austin.

Love,
Melody Byrd

Dammit

Date: 2011-07-26 06:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kaiball.livejournal.com
Brett... how I wish you could have found your way out before this. I remember so many great conversations and late night Flipsides. Your brilliant creative mind was always good to send mine twisting in new directions. Gear and music and love and inspiration. Give us all a little more...

Date: 2011-07-26 06:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] 6opou.livejournal.com
Brett,

You have been an inspiration in my life. I have rarely seen an individual with more motivation and intelligence. It was awesome to watch you be so enthusiastic about so many projects that were beyond the reach of so many others. You stand as one of the best read people I've ever met, and I wish that we could have spent more time together exploring, and making music and other art together. I loved dancing with you and being around you when we let go of the shackles of inhibitions. Profound connection is one of the most difficult and rewarding of all human endeavors, and I am thankful that we found that in our pasts together, because you made it so rewarding for me. I hope that your spirit can pull through this failing of the flesh, and reach a better place, wherever that may be. I hope that place is with us for a bit longer.

With Love,
Anderson

Date: 2011-07-26 07:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ottobeatriscuit.livejournal.com
Hi Brett,

Please get well soon. Pull through.

Much love,

Francine

Brett is cool/we love Brett because....

Date: 2011-07-26 09:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] futurity.livejournal.com
Brett,

I am sorry that I have not known how to be with you. I think of you often. Especially an idea you introduced me: changing your life course is like steering a freight train. I take this to mean change is a momentous task, only done very gradually.

We both have been trying to steer our freight trains. I hope we can both forgive ourselves for not being able to make impossible hard turns.

I love and accept you for who you are now.

I love you,
Sarah Miller

P.S. Here is the documentation of your friends' love for you circa 2001.


Your friends said this:

Brett is cool/we love Brett because....

He will not settle when it comes to selecting dessert.
He can sport pink bunny ears and rainbow-colored wigs like nobody's business.
He never judges me; he's just my friend.
His dental hygiene is impeccable and he's always up for a tooth-brushing run.
He is irresistible when he grins from ear to ear.

His rabbit hat with ear cocked to the side makes me giggle like a maniac.
He always says things to make you feel better...even when he's trying to be evil.
He likes good, good food.
His laugh is infectious.

He spins GREAT tunes.
He shares. Your pancakes, his, whatever!
He often looks like he could be normal, but underneath it all he's wonderfully freaky.
He's got a one-of-a-kind sense of humor and a mind to match.
He's an able co-conspirator!

He challenges and broadens my view of the world.
He has impeccable and unique taste.
He has the best carpet on which to roll.
His pants are the bomb.
He has hidden funkiness. (Aw yeah...check me out!!)
I know he is looking out for me.
He brings wonderful people together.

He's creative.
He almost never steals from little old ladies.
He's supercalifragilisticexpialadocious.
He makes a mean coffee.
In a police line up, you probably wouldn't say he did it.

He has taught me that being student doesn't involve being in school.
He's very silly.
He's very smart and very weird.
He's particular about his friends and he picked me!
He is very good at giving compliments.

He eats well.
He's always considerate.
He's wonderfully silly.
He makes music because it makes him happy.
His home is a sanctuary.
He has lots of knowledge and ideas.
He thinks well.
Rocks are fun to climb.
He encourages and strengthens me.
He smells like Brett.
He communicates well.
Bread, bananas, and coffee really are the staples of life.
His head is fun to rub.

Jack, Sarah, Corinna, 2 N Jenn, Karen, and Chim Chim

Dear friend,

Date: 2011-07-26 09:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shannenigans.livejournal.com
I recall fondly all the cuddles, amazing conversations, back-rubs that fixed what ailed me, and Hunter S. Thompson bedtime stories after late nights. DJ Princess Ranger Deathbunny, my life is better because you have been in it. You have always made me feel like so much more than just the pretty girl, you saw the smart funny girl in me too, and for that I thank you. I can clearly see you standing in the field at Rec Plant, your bunny hat sitting jauntily askew on your head, brandishing a giggle hammer as Birdy leaps up to tackle you. I will be listening to some butt-hole surfers tonight, and fondly recalling how much you loved to terrorize us. Shark!

Dear friend,

Date: 2011-07-26 09:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shannenigans.livejournal.com
I recall fondly all the cuddles, amazing conversations, back-rubs that fixed what ailed me, and Hunter S. Thompson bedtime stories after late nights. DJ Princess Ranger Deathbunny, my life is better because you have been in it. You have always made me feel like so much more than just the pretty girl, you saw the smart funny girl in me too, and for that I thank you. I can clearly see you standing in the field at Rec Plant, your bunny hat sitting jauntily askew on your head, brandishing a giggle hammer as Birdy leaps up to tackle you. I will be listening to some butt-hole surfers tonight, and fondly recalling how much you loved to terrorize us. Shark!

Date: 2011-07-27 12:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tritone.livejournal.com
I just saw this...dammit. Please tell him that we're thinking of him.

Date: 2011-07-27 12:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] paniolo99.livejournal.com
Dear Brett:

I remember all those nights after movies: talking, talking, talking. Time felt slow, then. I remember knowing that if I put my head on your shoulder, it would be welcomed. You were ease to me, you were connection. I never had to worry if you were my friend or if you cared about me. I remember when you called me in Kuwait, at the darkest part of my time there and told me that I had to come home, right away. There are days I wish I had.

I regret not staying to play Go with you that night. I regret that you have never met my little boy, the reason I stayed in Kuwait all those years ago. I regret not reaching out to you as you reached out to me. So many regrets. I hope you can find your way through this one, my dearest funny Brett, and find your way back again to us...to me, to this world.

I want so much for you. Most of all, I want you to make whatever peace you can find in this, whatever that might be. I understand if you choose not to be, to leave us - I will cry, but I understand - but I hope you choose the here and now. It's worth it, as hard as it is sometimes. It's worth it.

Love,
Courtney

Date: 2011-07-27 03:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] morrisa.livejournal.com
What sadness. I'm sorry you hurt, Brett. I hope you find your way back from this dark place.

Date: 2011-07-27 04:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rachmagnificent.livejournal.com
Brett,

Brett,

The Colorado contingent is sending you love and strength. You are such an interesting man and we would all be at a great loss without you in the world. I have many fond Flipside memories of you and especially of the last time we saw you here in Denver. You mesmerized us all for hours with your creative creations! We all really hope that you can pull through this dark time and awaken to brighter days.

D & J & L are on their way out to be with you, just hang on!

Love to you and your family,

Rachel and Michael

Date: 2011-07-28 04:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zadcat.livejournal.com
In case my message to you on Facebook went astray (I don't trust that thing), please tell Brett that Kate from Montreal sends her best wishes, and will always remember climbing Enchanted Rock with him.

Date: 2011-07-28 08:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sysd.livejournal.com
DAMMIT, BRETT

Date: 2011-07-29 11:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sambushell.livejournal.com
Brett, gentle friend, I love you and wish for the best.

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